April 28th: Choosing Joy, Choosing Spring
April 28th is almost here… again.
Seventeen years.
Seventeen Aprils without her.
It still catches me off guard sometimes. How the ache can feel so fresh while the memories feel so far away. Rachel left us 17 years ago this month, and yet her presence—her gift—is still as real as the day she came into our lives. Over the years, though, I’ll admit, I’ve lost sight of that gift. Not just in her life, but even in her passing. I let the ache take the front seat.
But a couple of years ago, while sitting at a conference, I heard Him whisper something so clear to my heart. “Embrace October.” Her birth month. That sweet beginning. And now, I hear Him again… “Embrace April too.”
Not because it’s easy. But because it’s time.
Time to take it back. Time to take back what Satan tried to steal.
Rachel was, and still is, a beautiful gift from Him. In 2008, our lives changed forever. And even in her absence, she continues to teach me, to mold me, to remind me of what matters most. I am choosing joy. Not in spite of the pain—but right in the middle of it.
The other day, we were porch sitting. (We do a lot of that around here. You’d be surprised how much healing happens on a good country porch. 🩷)
I noticed everything coming back to life—the flowers blooming, the hummingbirds returning, the chickens cackling and laying, Harold the rooster letting the whole neighborhood know it’s his farm (all day long), and Lester—bless his heart—stalking “his” cats while they tease him back like it’s a game they all agreed on. Birds were singing, Henry was glued to my side like he always is, and I just sat there in the moment and felt it…
Newness.
Life.
Spring.
My roses are stunning this year—just showing off, honestly. The trees are greening up, the air is warming, and it all reminded me that after the long, hard winters… spring always comes.
That’s how this journey has been since we lost Rachel.
There have been winters—long, dark, barren ones.
But also springs—full of light, color, warmth, and new life.
In the beginning, there were definitely more winters than springs. Grief is like that. But now… now, I’m starting to notice more spring than winter. This year, especially, I’ve been focusing on the spring—the blooms, the laughter, the signs of life that remind me God is still doing a new thing.
I’m thankful for the journey with Him. It hasn’t always been easy, but it’s been sweet. And yes, I’m even thankful for the gift of her passing. I know that’s a hard thing to hear—and it’s even harder to write—but I mean it. Truly. God is good. He’s held us close. He’s never left.
I don’t want to dwell on her death anymore. I want to dwell on her life. The joy she brought. The love she showed. The memories that still make me smile. I want her story to bring hope to others, to change hearts, to point people to the only One who brings peace in the pain—Jesus.
It's our prayer that His story, her story, our story continues to lead others to the love, the covering, and the joy that only He can offer.
And if your heart is aching too this April, let me just whisper this truth to you: Spring will come.
He will turn your mourning into dancing.
"You turned my wailing into dancing; You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, so that my heart may sing to You and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give You thanks forever."
Psalm 30:11-12
Forever thankful,
Choosing joy,
💛 Georgia
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